Who or what is in control of your life?
By Chris Lucerne, PCC
Are you willing to faithfully explore the inner depths of yourself to discover just what makes you tick? Do you want to have more in your life — more money, more love and more fun? Would you like to think, feel, and act differently than you currently do? If so, you are not alone!
This article begins a 12-part series on how to attract all that you desire by using the 12 universal laws of manifestation. If you are willing to set aside the questioning of whether or not these laws are real in favor of testing them out in the laboratory of your own life, read on.
The Law of Unconscious Attraction
We attract by default those life experiences that are appropriate to our unconscious programming. Then we tend to see those life experiences as ordained. We say, ‘that’s just the way life is,’ rather than seeing them as products of our conditioning that can be changed by conscious design.
~ Gay Hendricks, Ph.D.
Our belief system is being formed from the time we are conceived, and it continues to be created throughout the developmental years of early childhood. Solidly in place, these beliefs radically influence the shaping of our lives. By their very nature, beliefs are not provable and they are quite arguable, yet we tend to stake our lives on our beliefs. Many beliefs will hinder us: beliefs such as, “Nothing I do is ever good enough,” “Wealth is for other people; I know I will never be wealthy,” and “I’m fat, stupid and ugly.” Your beliefs create the reality in which you live. You may think that your life is just the way it is and that you have no control over it, but that is NOT so.
What is true is that our lives are a reflection of the beliefs that we hold at a conscious and unconscious level. Through the dynamic law of unconscious attraction, we have attracted people and circumstances into our lives that are in alignment with our beliefs. Although it is difficult to accept, we don’t see the world as it is, we see it as we are. And, looking through the filter of our beliefs, we align our behaviors and arrange our lives in response to what we see, thereby creating the self-fulfilling prophesy of our beliefs.
For instance, Sheri has the belief, “Nothing I ever do is good enough.” This belief manifests in her life through constant striving to do better and better and her always trying to measure up to others’ expectations. In her job, she works harder and longer trying to gain the approval of her superiors. And, even when she does get accolades for her excellent work, it is not enough. Why? Because she is looking through her belief, the filter of “Nothing I ever do will be good enough,” and so, in her mind, it isn’t. No matter the evidence presented to the contrary, she refuses to believe it.
Then there’s Jack, who shares the same belief with Sheri, yet it manifests in a very different way. Jack has been terminated by multiple employers. His attitude is “Why try? Nothing I ever do is good enough anyway.” So this belief becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy in his life. It keeps him on the treadmill of one failure after another.
Is there a way out of this dilemma? Yes! We want to bring the unconscious beliefs that run our lives out into the light of day so that we can change them. You have the choice of continuing to act out of your current beliefs or, instead, intentionally challenging and changing them. When you change your beliefs, you change your reality. If you want to know what your beliefs are, all you have to do is look at the results you have produced in your life. For example, if you argue with your partner consistently, you have some belief about arguing that keeps this behavior going. If you only have enough money each month to makes ends meet, then you have a belief about that. Your unconscious beliefs are evidenced by what you continually create in your life.
Activity:
Explore what you believe at an unconscious level by focusing on one specific aspect of your life that you would like to change (i.e., relationships, money, work, fun and leisure time, emotional health, physical health, spiritual health, contribution to community) and then bring to mind a specific current situation.
Ask yourself these questions and write down the answers.
– In this area of my life, what are the results that I am producing?
– In this area of my life, what do I complain about most?
Keeping in mind the answer to the above questions, answer the following sentence stems:
• I should/shouldn’t …
• They always …
• If only …
• I can’t …
• I never …
• They (he/she) won’t …
• I always …
• I’m not …
• They (he/she) never …
• They (he/she) should/shouldn’t …
Once you have identified the beliefs, you now have the opportunity to transform them into beliefs that inspire, motivate and fully serve your aliveness and your happiness. While you may not know how to transform your beliefs, you have at least taken the first step. You now have awareness, and awareness is the key to change. Take a moment to love and appreciate YOU for being willing to take this step.
Many people go through life on autopilot, blaming themselves or other people, and/or outside circumstances for their lives. Don’t let that be you. You have the opportunity to create what you want, and it begins with self-exploration. If possible, I encourage you to hire a skilled and talented coach or therapist, or to participate in a well-designed personal growth workshop to discover and transform your beliefs. Outside support is valuable to all of us. We each have many blind spots — things we simply cannot see about ourselves. Skilled practitioners can gently support us in seeing what is not obvious. You deserve to create an awesome life. I encourage you to embark on the journey of self-discovery and create your life by conscious design. It is an inside out job.
Note: This article is inspired by Drs. Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks. The 12 laws of manifestation are based on the two-part CD set The Manifestation Course by Gay Hendricks, and the set is available at www.Hendricks.com.
Chris Lucerne is a Professional Certified Coach. Using a body-mind centered approach, she specializes in two areas: supporting clients to build relationships that matter (including the relationship with one’s self) and to go beyond loss and embrace life. Visit her Web site at www.ChrisLucerne.com. Contact Chris Lucerne at (210) 408-7699.
