A Life Worth Living By Bonny Osterhage
Photography by Robert FrenchSusan Kelley thought about killing herself. After the sudden death of her husband, with the stress of her job and her severely out-of-shape physique, she actually considered suicide.
But all that seems unimaginable when you meet her now. Today she is smiling and wearing a T-shirt depicting Amelia Earhart and the words, "What kind of dream do you have?" When I saw her, I knew right away that this was no ordinary 55-year-old woman!
For starters, Kelley has lost almost 90 pounds. She also recently was awarded a black belt in karate. As if that's not enough, she takes flying lessons, plays poker every Friday night, lifts weights, logs hundreds of miles on her recumbent bike, enjoys traveling and teaches karate to children. With so much energy and zest for life, it is difficult to imagine that she ever found herself feeling so hopeless that she considered taking her own life. Today she knows life is a gift, but at the time it seemed like a nightmare.
"Nothing mattered to me anymore. All I wanted to do was get back to Chuck. I wanted to drive my car into a wall," she says of that dark time after her husband's death. Fortunately, through the help of family and friends, Kelley avoided the wall and managed to go from wanting to take her life with her own hands to taking her life in her own hands and turning it into a life worth living.
A match made in heavenThe relationship between Kelley and her late husband, Chuck, was one filled with love and friendship. They married when Kelley was a mere 15 years old and spent the next 36 years building a wonderful life together and raising their son, Charlie.
The couple shared many common interests: both were employed by the United States Air Force, both loved animals, and both shared a penchant for stopping by the donut shop on the corner every morning, which contributed to another commonality -- expanding waistlines and declining health.
Careers in the military demanded lots of travel, and it was while Kelley was on a business trip in Oklahoma that she received the news that Chuck had suffered a heart attack while stationed at Fort Hood. "It was 8:45 a.m., and I just jumped in my car, turned the hazards on and started driving the 368 miles to the hospital," she recalls. "I pulled into the parking lot at exactly noon."
The attack damaged 75 percent of Chuck's heart, and he was eventually put on the list for a heart transplant. "I've often thought about sending the owner of the donut shop half of the bill for the transplant," Kelley says jokingly.
A heart became available in 2003, and Kelley's husband underwent the procedure. It was an initial success, but several months later, he died because of complications that resulted in heart rejection. "He died on my mother's birthday," Kelley says, tears filling her gentle blue eyes.
In the weeks and months following Chuck's death, life for Kelley became a time of simply going through the motions. She tried different ways to make herself happy, including dyeing her hair different (and sometimes wild) colors, painting her house, starving herself for days and then bingeing on Snickers candy bars until finally she began to just wish for death.
Finding the will to go on Prior to her husband's untimely death, Kelley had begun to pursue karate at the urging of a close friend. A self-described "tomboy," Kelley found sports were nothing new, but she had some reservations about the field of martial arts.
"I was 50 years old, and I didn't want anybody wailing on me," she laughs. But at 5' tall and 227 pounds, Kelley realized that she had to start doing something. "I was four of me at the time I started," she says. She attended a class at Hill Country Karate led by instructor David Crawford, a man Kelley credits for not only teaching her martial arts but for helping to change her life. "He is the salt of the earth," she says fondly of Crawford. "He saw something in me that no one else saw."
Crawford, impressed with her enthusiasm, persuaded his own instructor Felix Lara to admit Kelley into his advanced winter class, even though she was new to the program. "She is the most driven person I have ever seen in my life," Crawford says. "When Susan makes up her mind about something, she doesn't quit."
Under the training of these two talented instructors, Kelley began to get stronger and healthier, and she set her sights on the ultimate prize: a black belt.
During Chuck's illness and subsequent death, Kelley lost sight of her goal and took some time off from the sport. With gentle persuasion from Crawford, however, she began training again and took on the added responsibility of teaching a children's class, which provided Kelley with an unexpected joy.
"It is such a hoot to watch 5-year-olds beat up on each other, spar and learn how to do push-ups," she laughs. "Suddenly I had a reason to get up in the morning again."
A drastic decisionAlthough Kelley was committed to her training, her eating habits left something to be desired, and she was having difficulty losing her excess weight. Strictly by accident she wandered into the office of Dr. Annette Zaharoff, an acupuncturist specializing in pain relief and injury treatment. "Dr. Z," as Kelley refers to her doctor and now friend, evaluated Kelley's nutritional habits and made some drastic changes, including eliminating caffeine from Kelley's diet. In addition she treated her for injuries Kelley incurred while training and used a body composition machine to determine whether Kelley was burning fat or muscle.
"I made it through my black belt test because of Dr. Z," says Kelley, who underwent the grueling week-long testing with a broken bone in her foot. "Kelley threw her shoes off and ran the last half of the 2.7-mile obstacle course barefoot," confirms Crawford, who was there with her each step of the way. "She is a true martial artist, and I am honored to be her instructor," he adds.
Even with all the lifestyle changes, Kelley still struggled with her weight, so she made a life-altering decision to undergo gastric bypass surgery -- with incredible results! Not only did she lose 87 pounds, she lowered her cholesterol from 330 to under 200 and went from a size 20 to an 8 or 10. "My weight loss is the best thing I ever did for myself besides marrying Chuck," she says with pride.
A new lease on lifeToday, Kelley enjoys an active lifestyle filled with the things she loves most: teaching karate to children and challenging herself just for fun. Her latest quest? To get a black belt in jujitsu. "I never thought I'd be doing this at 55," she says with a smile.
In addition to her many activities, Kelley also enjoys a predominantly organic and all natural eating regimen -- although she still allows herself the occasional Snickers bar. "Now it's just one instead of five," she says. Her life is an inspiration, but she finds her own inspiration in the love of friends and family who cheered her
along the way.
"I've climbed my Mount Everest because of the people who are behind me," she says. "If I am here to do one thing, it is to tell you that you can do anything you want," she adds. "Whatever you dream, you can do."
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